East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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