I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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