If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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