Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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