best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
