I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this boner is exhausting
Slut skills are useful in every country.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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