areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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