butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
