You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
