I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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