I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
