cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No more Irish car bombs ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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