we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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