Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
