This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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