She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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