She's JV to your varsity
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
