Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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