Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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