Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
