I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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