i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
