he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
