please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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