Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
