maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
