Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
