after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
