fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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