I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
