speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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