yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
