would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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