I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
