"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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