How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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