I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize