yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think my fart just growled at me.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
