We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
