you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
