I can text with my tongue
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
