is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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