they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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