I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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