He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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