I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
