dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
there is puke in my bra ... again
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