I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
