Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
