Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you will always have a special place in my vag
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
