another moral hangover. fuck.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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