I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
